Your kids and your speech

I’ve always felt parents need to censor what they say to their kids, and what they say infront of them to other people. Children at any age are affected by words said to them, especially when those words are said by the most important people in their lives. So when I came across this site, I just had to share. It talks about 5 things parents shouldn’t say to their kids. Here you go:

When you’re done, I think you’ll agree with me that these kids’ self-esteem is greatly affected, positively or negatively, by what we say to them. Never forget this: words are powerful. Else God would not have SAID “Let there be light”…and we all know that there was, and still is…light.

Peace y’all.

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TMD: Money Whisperers

You need to have seen these guys hedging their bets on The Money Drop Nigeria. These two friends, Taro Ndifeokezie and Frank Anachebe, were the last duo to play Season One’s fast-paced game of intelligence and smart wits. As Gideon Okeke said, these guys believed that they should listen to what the money says…interesting. And the money really spoke to them, because these Igbo business partners made history as the first duo to win $16,000 on TMD Nigeria. No joke!

Favour was on their side, really. The question about the aglet, and the one about most counterfeited products in the US, just made me know how much common sense and logic can go a long way in making dreams come true.

Trust our Igbo brothers, while they were deliberating on the last question, consumer electronics and shoes, which item was the most counterfeited in the United States, Frank said that when it comes to shoes, there’s no chip in the shoes to identify the fake from the original, and that once they’re bought you can’t easily return them the way you’d return electronics. Listen to this: he said that personally, since he also sells shoes, his prayer for every customer is that he/she wears the new pair of shoes out, so that if the person ever comes back to complain, he won’t have to take back the shoes because the customer actually wore them from the time of purchase! See sense! 😀

So the money whispered its secrets to these guys and gave itself up to them. Hmmm. *off to talk to my own bank account…*

See ya…one luv.

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Parenting and childhooding…

Remember when you were a kid? Ever tried telling your father, “Dad, I just hate you now!”, and you’d see if you wouldn’t be beaten blue-black, starved for days and thrown out on the street. If you were an adult and you said that you’d be threatened with a matchete, and if you were still living at home, omo you don pack comot be that! Of course I’m not saying you should say that, it’s obviously wrong and way too extreme if you want to tell your parents how you feel about an issue.
So what am I saying here? In the era I grew up in, parents had the final say in anything. Heck, they had THE SAY. Finish. Fullstop. Shikena. And it was either you went along with it or you went along with it. No buts. No input from you. What did you even know?
That might have worked at some time, but obviously, a child grows to become an adolescent, then an adult, capable of making some decisions, and able to handle him/herself in a situation. But most times, these parents don’t change. And that’s when the fight begins.
Now, dear parents, I’m not saying you’re not doing your best to bring up your children in the way that they should go. I know that part of being a parent is setting boundaries for their children, in what’s appropriate and not. But please while you’re doing that, watch that child’s progress. Know when he/she is capable of doing some things on his/her own: first time out, first driving lesson, whatever it is. There actually comes a time when your child is going to make some major life decisions that are not your business to make, (yeah, I said so!) The only thing that will matter is the lessons you’ve instilled in them.
For some parents, parenting for them is all about the dos and don’ts with the ‘don’ts’ list far longer than the ‘dos’. Why would you stop a child from playing drums, just because you want him to go to school? A lot of times we don’t realise that extra-curricular activities actually help boost the brain’s capacity to learn. My advice, encourage the talent in that child, but help him/her find a balance that works, while pointing out that education is also important in developing the talent and making it truly worthwhile.
One thing I know parents, is that you should listen to your kids. Yes! Create that environment where you can play with them, laugh with them, crack a joke with them. That way they’ll confide in you, and keep doing so until your betray their trust, or push them away emotionally. How can a doctor know what’s wrong with the patient if there’s no communication between the two? How can a bird fly if it doesn’t actually get to fly? Like a woman once said in church, “As parents we’re not going to be able to monitor our children’s every move, but we can put the Word of God in their spirits and let it guide their actions right”.
And so, with this, I take us to God. Yeah, He made us, right? And He’s the one who gave us these children, right? So what better way do we bring up our kids than with God’s Word? I know it’s His manual for life to us. (Yes oh, we buy appliances with manuals, abi?) The manufacturer of any piece of equipment always puts instructions on how to use his creation. That’s what God has done. So it’s back to the basics. Let God run your life, live His Word daily and you’ll know how to deal with your kids…at least you’ll get to see the verse that comes immediately after the popular “Children…honour your father and mother…that you may live long on earth”. Wanna see the verse? It says ( `a la pidgin 🙂 ) “No dey provoke your pikin dem, no make them vex!” *laughs* Here you go, from the New King James: “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord”. (Ephesians 6:4) you can check out other versions of the Bible, like the Message translation.
So there you have it parents, no make dem vex o! 🙂
Kudos to all the parents who’ve listened to their children and pointed them in the right way for their lives, Congrats!!!
If you’re a parent and you’ve read this, pls feel free to drop your comment on how you talk to your child and help him or her answer life’s questions. Thanks and stay blessed!

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The Adam Syndrome

A good friend of mine once said (to those people who are always criticizing the govt and our President) : “When you finish drinking that pure water and the satchet is empty, abi it’s Goodluck Jonathan that threw it away on the road for you?” This brings me to what I call the Adam Syndrome: blaming everyone and anyone but ourselves. We are responsible for our own failures, just as we pat ourselves on the back when we are successful. GEJ and the govt are not the ones paying other people to go and sit exams for our children. They are not the ones clogging our gutters with waste. They did not study and write the exams that made you a graduate. They did not write that application letter that was full of typographical errors. Just like what Nigerian undergraduates are fond of saying “they gave me an F”…who are the “they”? Did “they” read your books for you? When your result shows an A, why don’t you say “they gave you the A?” the story then turns to “I got an A”. Borrowing Shakespeare’s words: “To thine own self be true, and it will follow as the night (follows) the day”…let’s stop blaming other people for our own shortcomings. Each and every one of us can make a difference where we are. Like my friend said, GEJ didn’t throw that pure water satchet away.

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Why pass the blame?

Hello, my dear esteemed readers, I’m sorry I’ve not posted anything in quite a while…here’s something I’ve been thinking about, pls post your comments, let’s talk about it. Thanks.

It’s funny how the human nature always seems so selfish. We are quick to remind people to always be generous when we are the recipients of this generosity. We are not so eager to give when it’s our turn to be the “Father Christmas”. We are ready to blame others for some crazy thing we would have done in the same situation.

I am Nigerian, and I love my country Nigeria. When people complain about our leaders and the state of the political climate, I usually ask if they wouldn’t do same if they were in those positions of power. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not sanctioning all the corruption and embezzlement our leaders are so blatantly engaged in. All I’m saying is this: let us in our various spheres of contact in our own little ways, be the best that we can possibly be. Let’s keep our surroundings tidy by not littering. Let’s be honest to each other. Let’s render the best quality service in our jobs, not withstanding our job conditions. When we can all, everyone in his or her own little way, provide quality service in whatever industry we find ourselves, not scrimping on excellence, we can then assure ourselves of good governance, because we have imbibed and are deeply grounded in those qualities that make us outstanding and selfless leaders. You can check out my other post: The Adam Syndrome Cheers. Afterall, we’re good people, great nation, right? 🙂

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Ghost of Candies past

I’m a certified sweet tooth. After all, I bake cakes 🙂 But this hole in my tooth still came as an annoying surprise. Pain doesn’t like me. In fact, there ain’t no love lost between the both of us. And o they started: the excruciating headaches and crazyaches (that’s my own word o, not a typo, at least I can do like Shakespeare small, abi?). In the midst of bemoaning my fate and the fact that I did not eat any serious chicken during Christmas, the me in me said to me in a whisper, “that’s the ghost of candies past come to haunt you!”

That’s when I remembered all the sweets I consumed as a four-year old, all those years of chocolate and Danish Butter cookies and all the accumulated nights of going to bed without brushing my teeth *covers face*

Why am I telling this story? A lot of times we forget that our actions, or sometimes lack of action, affects us in more ways than we can imagine, positive or negative. Those aerobic exercises that we did only in our minds, that business we’ve been planning to start once we found time, that book we’ve been meaning to read…all those wonderful ideas that have never seen the light of day. Those taxes we’ve been meaning to pay, that smoking habit we’ve been trying to stop, that last bowl of ice cream just after midnight (why does food always taste great at that time?) :)…all that stuff keeps piling up until BOOM! It explodes in our face and we’re left with its after-effects.

Now I don’t need Momma telling me to brush my teeth before I go to bed…cos I’ve experienced what happens when I don’t!

But you know, there’s one thing you just can’t neglect to do and later get an opportunity to do it right. When you make a mess of your life and your salvation, there’s no going back to do it over on Judgement Day. Just like the Donut Repair Man says, “Life without Jesus, is like a donut with a hole in the middle of your heart”. A lot of people fill that hole with all kinds of stuff: work, alcohol, sex, you name it. But yet that hole keeps growing wider and wider…cos it can only be filled by God. So my dear reader, if you don’t know the love of God in Christ, which passes all understanding…find Him now, before it’s too late. Romans 10: 9 says it all.


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Story story…2

If you read my previous post and liked it, here’s another outrageous story birthed from the imagination of a five-year old girl. Children are really amazing! Why am I sharing this? So that we can learn to listen to them and understand them, not just bark instructions at them: “Don’t bounce the ball!” “Sit down quietly!” “Stop pushing that table!”

Kids know far more than they let on, I tell you. All that Nollywood gets to them, let’s not ignore that fact. And they haven’t developed the capacity to separate fantasy from reality, so there’s no impossible to them.
Okay, let’s go!

Story story….story.
What upon a time…time time. (Na so she take talk am o!)

The title of my story is the mother, the dog, and the step-mother (where’s the child?)

One day, the mother went out and left the dog in the house. Later the dog went out. The mother came back and did not see the dog. She started looking for the dog. Then thieves came to the house. She took a knife to kill the thieves (*surprised face*). After killing the thieves she pooked them (cooked) and threw them away (What?! At least the mother no chop them! *huge sigh). Then the step- mother came to the house. More thieves came to the house, plenty. They did not know that it was the dog that sent the thieves (Omo see intrigue and suspense!) The thieves were very many that the mother and the step-mother had to run away and leave the house for the thieves. So the thieves now lived in the house (do we say “happily ever after”?)

I had to ask what the moral lesson was. Guess the reply? It’s not good to have dogs? No! She said, and I quote, “It’s not good to pook (cook) thieves”…hmmm….

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Story story…

Date: 2nd April.
Time: 2:07am.
Location: Bed.
Action: Typing.
Mission: Blog post.

Yours truly had an interesting day with a young’un. You should know by now that I love kids. Yeah, they can be a whole load of noise and all that, but if you take out time and listen to what they say and watch them play, you’d understand them better and make looking after them easier for yourself, I tell you.

I was busy doing some stuff, and this cute darling was running around, creating hurricanes in his wake. I had to quickly think of what to do to keep him busy. So, my dear readers, I asked him to get his chair, come sit by me and tell me a story.

Come see story na! This one was titled the goat and the fish: here’s a brief retelling:

One day the goat went to the river and caught a fish. The fish begged the goat not to eat it, but the goat went ahead to cook the fish and ate it. Next morning the goat had to go to the hospital, and they had to open the goat’s tummy and they brought out two children (which I was later told were a tiger and a lion). The goat gave birth at age thirteen. Then she did her birthday and she was now fourteen years old. The goat grew to be a hundred years old, that’s when she became an adult. Then she died at the age of a thousand years. Her children died with her, she took them to heaven and then came back to her house and lived there.

And that is the end of the story.

Moral lesson: It’s not good to eat fish.

If you read the story up to this point: bravo! You can then imagine what it took me to concentrate and get all the details right. I had to keep asking questions like “So what did the goat now do?” “What happened after that?” Whew! All this just to keep him still! And you know the hardest part? Trying not to laugh in front of him! You need to have seen the seriousness on his face as he was inventing this story! But at least you can go ahead and laugh, ‘cos he sure ain’t seeing you! 🙂


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