The Danfo Files: Experience



Hi folks. How you been? I have been busy with work, but haven’t forgotten you, not one bit. I’m on my way to work this morning, and I thought to post this one. I call it the Experience. And no we ain’t doing no praise and worship, lol. It’s just common things you’d get to see while using the public transport system common to Lagos and Nigeria in general. The things I see, Lawdhuvmurrrcy! So until I get my car, I’ll keep letting you in on how you have not had the Danfo experience until you have:

1. Asked for a ‘waina’ (winder) to wind up the window when it rains.

2. Inhaled the conductor’s aromatic offering from his gloriously (I use this word liberally) unwashed corpus. (I hope speaking ‘crankum crinkum’ helps to make this part a lot more pleasant to read. Hmmmmmmmm…)



3. Replied “owa!” and “oun bole!” when you hear your bus stop.

4. Witnessed agberos fighting at the park.

5. Been squashed between two individuals who collectively take up the bulk of space. At this point you do not have weight. You cannot occupy space. You are the thin slice of cabbage in a hefty beef burger.



6. Stood in a bus, those white ones that are a newer generation from the original ‘molues’ of those days. Those ones that look like BRTs, but are white. 

7. Forgotten your change with the bus conductor. Free cash for the guy. Ooshey!

8. Been delayed when the bus breaks down or runs out of fuel.

9. Been shunted from one bus to another just because the driver has changed his mind about getting to the previously agreed destination. Nkem Owoh, sorry, this time agreement is not agreement.

10. Been able to recognise two or three of the drug peddlers or preachers who ply the same route as you.

There we have ’em, ten of them. Please feel free to add more in the comments section. See you later. Oya conductor, oun bole ooo!