Can you relate? 

woman at lake

I could sit like this all day, lost in my thoughts

Have you ever been in a situation where you know you want to say something, but the words just can’t seem to take shape and come out of your mouth, or in this case, out on paper ? (oh, I forgot I was typing this.) 

Trust me, I am almost always in the kind of situation. It’s not like I don’t have things to talk about, it’s more about the fact that I’ve been so used to keeping quiet and keeping my thoughts bottled up that now it’s just second nature to me. 

Now a lot of people who know me personally would find it hard to believe, but it’s true, and some others who knew me as a child wouldn’t be surprised to hear that I still prefer my own company a lot of times. Heck, I used to go to wedding receptions, child dedications and birthday parties with my family, holding a novel that I would open and continue reading right in the midst of all the party noise. 

Yeah. True. 

Anybody ever felt like that before? You’re not alone…and you’re not a weirdo. Like me, you probably enjoy the sound of silence. You enjoy hearing the thoughts in your head sing a symphony. You cherish the peace of a cool breeze in the quiet of the evening. You could stay at home all day with a great novel, good music, free Wi-Fi and great music. 

And guess what? No you’re not boring, you’re not queer, you’re actually a really amazing person. You tend to be very loyal to your friends and family, and you are great at your job. I’m sure you are very sensitive to people’s feelings too. 

So hello fellow introvert and empath, you’re spectacular! 

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Tap, tap, tap…TAP IT OUT! 

Hi guys…#sheepishsmile

sheepish smile

Yeah, sheepish smile 😄

It’s been a minute since I last blogged…sincere apologies…yours truly has been trying to juggle work and personal projects here and there…did I tell you that I’m now doing business on my own? More about that in a different post. 

All that writer’s block and not making out time to blog is over and done with…and no, this is not a New Year Resolution, it’s a decision…

Can someone please say Amen? 🙂

Amen. 🙏

So…how’ve y’all been? Tell me…did you eat your fill of chicken and fried rice during Christmas and New Year? Did you travel to the village, like I did, or did you stay in the city where you live, or did you travel out? Y’all remember that meme/saying that became popular during the holidays…something about “I want to travel to Dubai, but my bank account is directing me to the village”…hahaha…funny yeah…but mehn that wasn’t my reason for going to the village o! 😂 My bank account got nothing to do with my villa trip…I play by a different set of rules 🙂

I play by a different set of rules.

So yeah…let’s see…it’s a new year…even though January is in its 20th day now…I’ll be talking about the things I reeeeeeally want to ‘tap out’ this 2017…tap out, as in render null and void, deliberately outdate, things we need to cast and bind if you please 😂…okay let’s do this… 

Tap out picture from The Real

Courtesy The Real

Tap Out in 2017

1. Let me just kuku start with my personal number one skoin-skoin that needs to be tapped out…Chymdii, you need to stop procrastinating! Chai! Stop waiting for the perfect time and the best conditions to do something. Like my friend Vanessa Mbamarah of Ztallion says…”Build Regardless”. Nothing will come to you if you do not get up to take it. Get up and go! Take action! Write that blog post even if you are lying on your bed after a hearty meal with your battery at 30% and Candy Crush Soda Saga is calling your name. “Build Regardless”, in spite of the circumstances which may not be conducive, get going and do something about your dream and passion that won’t stop burning. 

I believe with this first tap-out of mine I have been able to cast the spirit of laziness and unproductivity out of my life n’aha Jisos, Amen. 🙏:)

Now for these personal peeves:

2. Bad English/ Incorrect Grammar 

All incorrect grammar turns me off big time, but this one just takes the cake: 

Men and brethren, biko it is not ‘one of the popular artiste’…do not forget the ‘s’ at the end of the word. It is one – singular, out of many – plural. Understood? Thank you. #CurtseyingGraciously

See eh…if you ever catch me write something that wasn’t grammatically correct, pls feel free to point it out to me, I’ll will gratefully thank you for it. Some of my friends know how far…as per, you send me a BC and I helpfully point out something that needs to be rewritten. I’m being a good friend, no be so? 

Every Gbagaun in 2017…we tap out! 

Tap out the real Jeanne Mai

Tapping it out with all strength…yeah I love Jeanne Mai and The Real!

3. All those sexy poses on Instagram 

Let me just say this, right here right now. Standing like your legs ain’t straight and throwing out one hip in the bid to look like Kim K on one side of your body in one particular angle will not help your destiny. Not at all. I saw one profile picture of Facebook, on the slideshow for ‘People you may know’ and honestly, when I saw the babe – who I really do not know- the thigh and hip that was pushed out seriously reminded me of chicken drumstick. As in seriously. 

No shade though…I’m not here to run anyone down or anything, I’m just saying it as I see it…there’s no need to for us women to pose just so the first thing that comes to anybody’s mind when they see a picture is the word ‘sexy’. 

Don’t try too hard to look sexy. 

In fact, don’t aim to look sexy. 

Dress to look good.  

Fashionable does not mean sexy. 

As a woman, we are a lot more things than sexy. We’re smart, we’re strong, we’re wise and we’re blessed with a lot more gifts than just satisfying the cravings of men’s loins. That is just one attribute out of many a woman has, and it should satisfy one man’s cravings, not to be explicitly and deliberately advertised for a multitude. 

So, no chicken legs and all that stuff this year. 

#NuffSaid. I didn’t plan to give a sermon.

#TapOutSexyPoses

4. Some guys need to grow up on Instagram and Snapchat too

Guys, you think I wasn’t gonna talk about yours too? Some people follow me on Instagram and I’m like kilonshele? Cos all I see on his page are those kind of popular poses guys do…which I can’t even describe. In case you didn’t know, me I’m old school o…so all those Drake and Wizkid wannabes and lookalikes, sorry, wrong number. 

Tap out! 

Akah Bants Video on YouTube

Check it out on YouTube!

For more tap outs that I could have written on this blog, but won’t, because Nnani Akah of Akah Bants on YouTube already has ’em covered…

oya click here…

so guys, go take a look…and repent if you’re guilty of any! 😁 

Peace and Love…

…yours truly, Andiispice.