Remember when you were a kid? Ever tried telling your father, “Dad, I just hate you now!”, and you’d see if you wouldn’t be beaten blue-black, starved for days and thrown out on the street. If you were an adult and you said that you’d be threatened with a matchete, and if you were still living at home, omo you don pack comot be that! Of course I’m not saying you should say that, it’s obviously wrong and way too extreme if you want to tell your parents how you feel about an issue.
So what am I saying here? In the era I grew up in, parents had the final say in anything. Heck, they had THE SAY. Finish. Fullstop. Shikena. And it was either you went along with it or you went along with it. No buts. No input from you. What did you even know?
That might have worked at some time, but obviously, a child grows to become an adolescent, then an adult, capable of making some decisions, and able to handle him/herself in a situation. But most times, these parents don’t change. And that’s when the fight begins.
Now, dear parents, I’m not saying you’re not doing your best to bring up your children in the way that they should go. I know that part of being a parent is setting boundaries for their children, in what’s appropriate and not. But please while you’re doing that, watch that child’s progress. Know when he/she is capable of doing some things on his/her own: first time out, first driving lesson, whatever it is. There actually comes a time when your child is going to make some major life decisions that are not your business to make, (yeah, I said so!) The only thing that will matter is the lessons you’ve instilled in them.
For some parents, parenting for them is all about the dos and don’ts with the ‘don’ts’ list far longer than the ‘dos’. Why would you stop a child from playing drums, just because you want him to go to school? A lot of times we don’t realise that extra-curricular activities actually help boost the brain’s capacity to learn. My advice, encourage the talent in that child, but help him/her find a balance that works, while pointing out that education is also important in developing the talent and making it truly worthwhile.
One thing I know parents, is that you should listen to your kids. Yes! Create that environment where you can play with them, laugh with them, crack a joke with them. That way they’ll confide in you, and keep doing so until your betray their trust, or push them away emotionally. How can a doctor know what’s wrong with the patient if there’s no communication between the two? How can a bird fly if it doesn’t actually get to fly? Like a woman once said in church, “As parents we’re not going to be able to monitor our children’s every move, but we can put the Word of God in their spirits and let it guide their actions right”.
And so, with this, I take us to God. Yeah, He made us, right? And He’s the one who gave us these children, right? So what better way do we bring up our kids than with God’s Word? I know it’s His manual for life to us. (Yes oh, we buy appliances with manuals, abi?) The manufacturer of any piece of equipment always puts instructions on how to use his creation. That’s what God has done. So it’s back to the basics. Let God run your life, live His Word daily and you’ll know how to deal with your kids…at least you’ll get to see the verse that comes immediately after the popular “Children…honour your father and mother…that you may live long on earth”. Wanna see the verse? It says ( `a la pidgin 🙂 ) “No dey provoke your pikin dem, no make them vex!” *laughs* Here you go, from the New King James: “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord”. (Ephesians 6:4) you can check out other versions of the Bible, like the Message translation.
So there you have it parents, no make dem vex o! 🙂
Kudos to all the parents who’ve listened to their children and pointed them in the right way for their lives, Congrats!!!
If you’re a parent and you’ve read this, pls feel free to drop your comment on how you talk to your child and help him or her answer life’s questions. Thanks and stay blessed!
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