Post 1, 2014

Okay, this happens to be my first post of the year, so before I go further…I hope you had an amazing Christmas and an absolutely wonderful New Year. Right now I’m on my way back to civilisation as far as 3.5G connection is concerned :).

Lemme tell you what happened over the hols. If you’re in good ole Naija, shey you know say Christmas no dey complete without chicken? So in the spirit of Christmas, a live fowl came to stay in the house by means of Christmas bonus at work. Our new visitor came early, so it had like 5 days to go before being summarily executed. We tried to make it as comfortable as possible by providing food, shelter and water, but it looked like Mr. Chicken knew his fate, because he seemed sad to me. 😦 He didn’t seem to want any company, not even the children’s, and he would just peck quietly around the house. Did I even hear him crow at dawn? I don’t think so. That’s how it went, until 2 days to Christmas, Mr. Chicken slumped and died in a part of the compound where we would be sure to see him. I was the first to find him dead. I felt sad for him, even though I was looking forward to eating chicken gizzard. Everyone did feel sad, though our reasons varied. We did give Mr. Chicken a decent burial though, and went ahead to buy a carton of his cousins’ body parts frozen and brought in from far-away lands.

My conclusion: our chicken guy preferred to rather die than be eaten by humans…    


Gabriel Metsu (1629-1669)
The Dead Cockerel

…Now that was one thing I found interesting during the hols. The second was the 3 year old yam that I saw still in the process of being harvested when I went with my uncle’s family to my hometown. My grandma had patiently waited for her son to come and remove it for her, pics after the cut…

massive innit? 🙂

I’m sure you’ve got some more interesting stories of your own…share the fun as you comment to this post, it would be great to hear from you after such a long while *covers face*…one love! 

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Story story…2

If you read my previous post and liked it, here’s another outrageous story birthed from the imagination of a five-year old girl. Children are really amazing! Why am I sharing this? So that we can learn to listen to them and understand them, not just bark instructions at them: “Don’t bounce the ball!” “Sit down quietly!” “Stop pushing that table!”

Kids know far more than they let on, I tell you. All that Nollywood gets to them, let’s not ignore that fact. And they haven’t developed the capacity to separate fantasy from reality, so there’s no impossible to them.
Okay, let’s go!

Story story….story.
What upon a time…time time. (Na so she take talk am o!)

The title of my story is the mother, the dog, and the step-mother (where’s the child?)

One day, the mother went out and left the dog in the house. Later the dog went out. The mother came back and did not see the dog. She started looking for the dog. Then thieves came to the house. She took a knife to kill the thieves (*surprised face*). After killing the thieves she pooked them (cooked) and threw them away (What?! At least the mother no chop them! *huge sigh). Then the step- mother came to the house. More thieves came to the house, plenty. They did not know that it was the dog that sent the thieves (Omo see intrigue and suspense!) The thieves were very many that the mother and the step-mother had to run away and leave the house for the thieves. So the thieves now lived in the house (do we say “happily ever after”?)

I had to ask what the moral lesson was. Guess the reply? It’s not good to have dogs? No! She said, and I quote, “It’s not good to pook (cook) thieves”…hmmm….

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Story story…

Date: 2nd April.
Time: 2:07am.
Location: Bed.
Action: Typing.
Mission: Blog post.

Yours truly had an interesting day with a young’un. You should know by now that I love kids. Yeah, they can be a whole load of noise and all that, but if you take out time and listen to what they say and watch them play, you’d understand them better and make looking after them easier for yourself, I tell you.

I was busy doing some stuff, and this cute darling was running around, creating hurricanes in his wake. I had to quickly think of what to do to keep him busy. So, my dear readers, I asked him to get his chair, come sit by me and tell me a story.

Come see story na! This one was titled the goat and the fish: here’s a brief retelling:

One day the goat went to the river and caught a fish. The fish begged the goat not to eat it, but the goat went ahead to cook the fish and ate it. Next morning the goat had to go to the hospital, and they had to open the goat’s tummy and they brought out two children (which I was later told were a tiger and a lion). The goat gave birth at age thirteen. Then she did her birthday and she was now fourteen years old. The goat grew to be a hundred years old, that’s when she became an adult. Then she died at the age of a thousand years. Her children died with her, she took them to heaven and then came back to her house and lived there.

And that is the end of the story.

Moral lesson: It’s not good to eat fish.

If you read the story up to this point: bravo! You can then imagine what it took me to concentrate and get all the details right. I had to keep asking questions like “So what did the goat now do?” “What happened after that?” Whew! All this just to keep him still! And you know the hardest part? Trying not to laugh in front of him! You need to have seen the seriousness on his face as he was inventing this story! But at least you can go ahead and laugh, ‘cos he sure ain’t seeing you! 🙂


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Ramblings of an Insomniac 1

I had started this a while back and now I wanna post the first part. If you like it, as a highly esteemed reader that you are, I’ll make sure I continue it. Just drop a comment…thanks!

It’s 1:23am. I’m on my bed, wide awake, listening to Asa on my headphones. I know I need to catch some sleep before the day unfolds, but I just can’t. My mind wanders into the forest of my memories like a child let loose in a sweet shop. I remember that Mike guy. Such a cocky fella. Imagine him telling me he’d make sure we got married. Hey, dude, I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole if my life depended on it. Eesh! Some guys eh! Mtschew! Tomorrow’s gon’ be quite a busy day…conferences and all that official stuff. Left to me I’d rather be at home, curled up on my bean bag in front of the projector screen, with a huge bag of popcorn and a bottle of Irish cream, watching movies. But a babe’s got to go to work, you know. So I’ve got to get up early tomorrow to get to work and get started on what promises to be a busy day. But before I do that, I’ve got to sleep, haven’t I? Oya o…sleep, where are you? Reminds me of Psalms 127:2…the beloved needs her sleep, Dear Lord…thank you. Ok, this seems to be working, ‘cos these eyes are starting to get quite heavy…see you in the morning…yawn…

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